In 2016, I went through the toughest times I’d ever been through. Because of family conflict, my uncle evicted me from my grandmother’s house, which ultimately led to me being homeless, which I talk about in my talk that you can watch on my homepage.
These are seven lessons as I started going through that time:
1. Always learn from life.
No matter what challenge you’re facing, ask yourself: ‘What can I learn from this?’ What changes do I need to make in my life to prevent this from happening again? The best tool for doing this is the daily discipline of keeping a journal. Write in it each day, and read back over your entries often.
2. Done is better than perfect.
While you should always aim to deliver the best quality possible, having a high completion drive matters more than a bunch of great ideas that you never act upon. Execution is where the best ideas fail. I launched my crowdfunding campaign and did the best job I could. As I got feedback, I’ve made changes. The result: $615 raised in the first seven days. If I’d waited till I got it perfect, I still wouldn’t have launched it yet.
3. People WANT to support you.
The biggest thing I’ve been grateful for this past week has been the number of people who have stepped up, given money and shown their support. You don’t have to experience tough times alone. Share them with other people and they’ll amaze you with how decent they really are.
4. Distress is a choice.
You don’t have control over all of your life’s circumstances. Some things you attract through your focus. Other challenges God sends your way to help you grow into the man or woman he wants you to become. If it was a fact that your situation was distressing, then everyone who experienced the same circumstance would find it distressing. And nothing can stress you out unless you choose to let it do so.
5. Positivity pays off.
Contrary to what I said before, no one cares about you. Everyone cares first about themselves. Instead of letting your challenges dominate every conversation, listen to the people in your life. Let them talk about what’s important to them.
6. Integrity always makes the difference.
My friend and former copywriting client John Anderson said in an email today:
According to a 3-year study of 200 self-made millionaires, we need to be ‘Conscientious’.
This means being super-organised, self-disciplined and dependable.
You don’t let your life get out of control when a challenge hits you—but you face it with action.
You plan carefully and execute your plans.
Then you get rewarded with the self-esteem that comes from keeping promises and working at a high level.
Do your best to keep all your promises and agreements. As soon as you realise you may not deliver, contact the other person involved and renegotiate to their satisfaction.
7. Show yourself kindness when your standards slip.
In the past week and a half, I’ve broken all the daily habits streaks I normally maintain so carefully: my two Spanish lessons, reading 80 pages, walking 10,000 steps, writing 250 words, and my daily Quiet Time. An earlier version of myself would have beaten me up for “failing” at these. Now I show myself the same level of kindness I’d show any other person: When you’re doing the best you can, give yourself leeway.
What are some lessons you’ve learned from the challenges you’ve faced? Please comment below.